One more day and I'm doneeeee woot woot!

Quick update I guess. Pretty much slept my whole day away after I got home from taking my final.

Ray and his comics
and I'm in it ; ]
except I wish he would draw me HOTTER
and SEXIER
and NOT LESBO
bitch.




visit his page
http://www.thuglifecomic.webs.com/

Freaky freak!

Just came home from clubbing and Denny's. Super tired but I don't want to sleep just yet, plus I have work tomorrow. SUCKS! Oh well what can we do? I need to study hardcore this weekend for anatomy final exam this monday and then go over my signing on Unit 4 for the test on Tuesday and also gotta go to the lab to clean the dark room on Tuesday. LOL We photo kid are even gonna go out for "lunch/dinner" Tuesday, oh how I love everyone in that class!♥

This semester is almost up and it feels sad... I had a lotta fun this semester and met tons of people. All the stress and bitching out we did to each other was just memories we wanna keep. Gosh, I don't even know how many times everyone has been argued with each other or broken down in my Photo class. Such a tight and close group of photo friends. It seems like the other classes aren't like us at all and I'm very glad I signed up for the class I have now. Everyone is chill!

I wanna do it do it do it do it do it!!! Oh baby!
So excited and hyper tonight, I'm in a better mood now then the last few nights.
I hope you regret. I'm going to make you regret.
Watch out motherfuckkkaaaa
I'll make sure you know that you missed out.

I hate it.
I just wish you would look at me more then just a friend.
But I guess I always want more then what I already have.
I guess you'll never understand how much you mean to me.
Even if I try my best to hate you.
Hating you can only last so long..
You made me feel like I've thrown myself to your feet.
My mind has played tricks on me.
I feel so unworthy.
Chasing after something that will never exist.
Do you feel good now?
My heart has gone from being crack to breaking in half, shatter into pieces, stepped on and smashed, to now what is grains from what is left.
You never knew you could do that to a girl huh?
Well open your eyes, I'm right here..
Taking all the pain and beatings just to be.. by your side.

When will you ever find another girl so caring and loving?

---

I thought I was so over it.
But I never knew how much I wanted it.
I need to stop lying to myself.

It's the last week of classes and I'm about to rip hairs out. I guess I never been so moody about school and right now it's bugging the hell out of me. I'm freaking out over photography and anat & physio. In photography I feel like just giving up on finishing my final project and turn in whatever I can get done by Thursday. It's not like I want to do it that way but I feel like that's the only choice I have as of right now. I need to kick ass in Anatomy & Physiology lecture and lab but I'm so iffy because I didn't realize how behind  I am (sad). I kind of regret taking photography, I like it but maybe I just took it at the wrong time. My two classes are having an competition with each other, What I like to do and My career. BLAH! If I didn't take photography for this semester I would be doing so well in Anat. right now I'm trying to kick ass in my final exams to just get a B... how horrible right now I'm at a C and I really really hope I can get an B.

I spent so much time in my photo lab that I pushed everything out. One more week and it's done. This is going to kill my GPA and if the programs will accept me but what can I do. Just do my volunteering hour hardcore and so much more. I'm so moody. I hate school!

I decided to transfer to USF after I get my AA here at SPC which I should be done by the end of summer but I'm not sure if I should rush it. I do actually want to get away from home because I feel like everything is holding me back and I'm not getting anywhere. I'm afraid USF nursing won't accept me so what do I do? What to do, what to do.. I'm also trying to find a place to stay in Tampa but it's so effin expensive. Mikey took me to check out the dorms and they weren't bad. It seems like a really nice experience and everyone is really nice but I'm not sure if it's me. I may try it out for a little bit and see if i want to stay or not. Who knows..

My window is still broken and it's annoying because I've been driving in the rain and the cold. I can't do much because everyone is busy and it's so expensive. Sick of everything I guess.. I just want this year to be over with. The beginning of the year is always fun but it always goes down hill at the end. How irritating! Was in Tampa yesterday  (the whole day) trying to shoot some pictures for photography and studied a little bit for anatomy. Yesterday was soooo cold so ended up just staying in Tampa for the night. Experienced some "college life" lmao.

My mother is also irritating me. I understand it's hard to let go but holy cow. Chill out. Another reason why I just want to move out is because of how annoyed I am with the family. I told her straight up that I do not want to live with her while I'm in college because all the stress that's is going between my brother and her is getting to me. I can't even concentrate with all the stuff going on right now. I can't hang out or do things I want to do without her getting all up in my face about things. I can't even do schooling the way I want. Always never believing that I am doing an project of if I'm in class or not. Honestly she should just fix my brother up, the boy who dropped out of school for no reason and plays video games all day. Doesn't do shit at home and doesn't even work.

Being the first generation in the family going to college... is such a bitch. Parents don't understand how difficult it is and how stressful schooling can be. College is not ONLY about partying and fucking around. It's the time in our lives that we make a big decision that may change our future. It's the time in our lives that we can hang out with our hundreds of friends because I know for a fact when we get older we will never get a chance to go out and just chill. It's the time in our lives that we will get to experience new experiences. It seems like parents whom never been to college before will never understand how hard it is. I guess it's something you have to experience to understand.

I guess I have a lot of things on my mind. Wrote so much but I still have more to just type out. I'm taking an "break" from studying and I'm at work too. I've done things I've regret and I've also done things I will never take back but right now I'm not sure how I feel about the choices and actions I've done lately. It's nothing serious but it's more of an conflict with myself.

What do you do with a person who hasn't forgotten about their ex. Do you become selfish and make your move or do you just look at it and walk away. I've experienced this so many time in the past and I keep telling myself and everyone to never get involved with a person whom can't let go. Yet I find myself in that position again. I get angry and upset every time I see her picture or hear her name, but I still give you what you want. I don't know why I am doing this. I have this gift I want to give to him but that probably will be an goodbye forever gift. I can't do this anymore but I want it.

I made this post super long with lots of words so I am positive no one would really read it. I don't care either because it's basically how I am feeling and thinking at the moment. No harsh feeling because I do it do with people I'm not close friends with. People that has no pictures in their post bores me.


I've always wondered why I couldn't get another bf, it's been a year now and I'm still single. I realized I'm very very picky with boys and I can't help myself. I wish I could find someone I like but I'm just not interested in anyone. If I gotten one maybe it would help with another conflict I have in my mind. maybe..

RANDOM
Do you say everybody like...
"every body"
or
"every buddy"

Started this new drama called Invincible Lee Pyung Kang. We'll see if it's good, it looks interesting